We've been married for years and I should know him by now,
but the man annoys me,
sitting in the garage with his call-in radio so loud
I can't hear the television in my own kitchen.
All those stupid people going on about whatever pops into their pea brains.
And I know he's smoking out there.
People talking and dancing, and um,
wound up against the wall with a boy.
And then we were holding hands,
and then moving to the music. And, uh,
and then, uh, we were kissing.
Grinding. It freaked me out.
It's just a dream. How old are you now, Henry?
Nineteen.
Still bothers you?
It recurs.
Can you give me one good reason why I should bring her into a church
that says that she's less than a boy?
It'll be here when you're gone.
That's it?
Well, that's a lot! Use what you can use.
Is that an official Catholic position? "Use what you can use?"
It's not.
And you didn't hear it from me.
I've been looking for work a year now.
Going through the motions out there. She knows it.
God help me, I almost hit Sarah.
Have you ever hit her, Lloyd?
No.
Why'd you come here today?
Hear you talk. Seem like a man has an idea what's going on.
Thank you.
And Sarah made me.
His new smoke eater...
Is there some specific transgression
you would like to talk about, Anita?
Where do I start, Father?
He's gonna have a stroke if he doesn't listen to his doctor or his wife,
who still cleans an office nights to make ends meet,
and has a hot meal on the table every damn day, Father.
I ask Miguel, a man of some age, to do only two things.
Pick up his dirty socks and his wet towels.
Father, I have a long bus ride home from a long day's work.
Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six, five, four.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, by the grace of God.
Bless me, Father. I have sinned. My last confession was 19 years ago.
Welcome back.
I'd like to confess a sin I haven't committed, yet.
Can I do that?
Well that's, that's never come up. Uh...
What's the sin?
I'm going to kill myself. On my birthday.
And I'm Aries, Father, so I don't have a lot of time.
You there?
Yes.
What I say here stays here, right?
Between you and God.
There a time limit?
Um, no. I have to,
I have to say mass in a half hour.
But if-if you're not done by then...
Oh, I'll be done.
I was 12 the first time my stepfather raped me.
I was... 13 when I learned to like it.
Now you have an appointment, Father.
And I'm done.
Do I know you?
That was, uh, I mean your, your confession actually it's called, uh,
reconciliation these days. Same thing.
Just tell me whether I'm damned to hell or not, Father.
I'll leave you alone.
At this...
At this point, normally I'd, I would...
We're out of time, Father.
I would, um, I would like to,
I would like to continue talking if that's all right.
Are you there? Hello? Hello?
I started to write a suicide note
and decided it might not get read.
That's how alone I am.
And I'm Aries, Father, so I don't have a lot of time.
Hello?
Hello, Helen.
Uh-huh.
I'm so sorry.
Yes.
I'll be down first thing in the morning.
I can come right now if you'd like. No?
Okay. All right, tomorrow.
Bye.
I'd like to confess a sin I haven't committed, yet.
Glory be to the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now and shall ever be, world without end. Amen.
Let the love of your family, Ray, standing here with me,
and your extended family, and your sea of friends,
and all those you have touched in your life
speed you on your journey home.
Amen.
A- N-D-R-O-P-O-L-O-U-S.
Greek father, Irish-Apache mother.
Fiery little pipe-cleaner of a woman.
God bless her soul.
How did you find us, George?
I saw your sign.
There's no, uh, drinking while you're here.
Had damn near a year of sobriety once. I know I can do it.
When was that?
Seventeen years ago.
Well, you can stay up to three months.
We have an employment counselor that comes in once a week
and a social worker is on staff. This is for you.
What's in it?
Toothbrush, toothpaste, clean socks and underwear.
I haven't been treated this well since I left the Merchant Marine.
Breakfast is at eight, dinner is at five.
Sign up for the laundry and the shower.
You're free to come and go. Just don't drink, George.
Check.
Drink and we have to say goodbye.
I won't let you down, Father.
This is the gospel of the Lord.
Thanks be to God.
Good evening, St. Mary Magdalen's.
Happy St. Cyril Day.
Today is his feast day.
Not a very famous Saint.
He always lived in the shadow of St. Patrick, I think.
Cyril was a member of a group called The Solitaries,
who, um,
well, they lived lives of complete chastity, poverty, sobriety.
It's no wonder the Irish didn't adopt him.
I- I like to, uh, I like to study
the saints that are less famous.
The ones that didn't get their own day.
Have you ever heard of St. Hubert the Silent?
Yeah, he was,
well, he was so silent none of us know about him.
Or, St. Richard the Whoremonger?
Not making this up.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines a saint
as a person who has lived an exemplary life.
I'd like to confess a sin I haven't committed, yet. Can I do that?
Let's think for a moment about where we are right now.
How Mary Magdalen purportedly lived
before encountering Christ. The profession known
as the oldest.
What does an exemplary life really mean?
How did a whoremonger make it in?
That's how alone I am.
Hey. It's John.
I'm fine. Don't be late to your opera. Go.
I'm... everything's...
Can't a son call his mother? I'm fine.
I'll call again. I promise.
Yes, I'd like to see you, too. What're you seeing?
Hm. She dies at the end.
www.frendz4m.com
What do you think?
About what?
My name is John.
I know.
You do?
You're kidding, right?
Nope.
We've been waiting on you.
You have?
Quite a show.
It's my first time down here.
That's good.
"First time. " That's a hoot. I love that.
You might have me mixed up with someone else.
Yeah, maybe I do. You let me know
when I'm needed.
Okay, Zeke. Thanks.
What you need, baby?
Maybe Miriam can help.
I'm looking for someone.
Yeah, who?
My sister.
She down here, maybe you don't wanna find her.
'Scuse me, baby.
Hey!
Just curious. What's behind the "Members Only" curtain?
Can't tell you.
Why not?
You're not a member.
How do I become a member?
Invite only.
And who does the inviting?
I do.
How do I know if I want to become a member
if I don't know what goes on, you know, in the club?
Come around again. I'll think about it.
Maybe I will.
Spending a little money in here doesn't hurt.
Oh, okay.
$ 12.
Um, wait.
Close enough.
You okay? Hey!
Oh, sorry.
How you doing?
What?
How are you?
I'm good.
Can you spare a buck?
You know what? I just spent all my money on a...
Oh.
Why do you have those?
I, I use them to pray.
For who?
Anyone who needs it.
They work?
I don't know.
They're pretty.
Excuse me.
Here, take them.
No!
Go on.
You sure?
Sure.
Yeah. Thanks!
Don't mention it.
Luke tells us today that Jesus
had the unmitigated gall
to dine with a tax collector.
That's right.
Just as popular then as they are today.
Somewhere just south of hooker on the sinner chain.
And this is the kind of behavior that drove his disciples crazy!
"It makes you look like a nut job, Jesus. "
And they were right.
I mean, who befriends his auditor, takes him to dinner,
and then picks up the check and doesn't try to write it off?
Jesus seemed to have an affinity for the hard-to-love.
I think he had low self-esteem.
I mean, we know he had a father-complex, right?
And how-how could he not have issues with his virgin mother?
But still, he showed us how to love.
Which is more than I can say for me,
standing here before you, simply preaching.
Amen.
Body of Christ.
Amen.
Body of Christ.
Amen.
Body of... John.
I need to talk to you.
I will be right back.
The place looks nice.
They take care of me in the manner to which I am accustomed, John.
Unlike that heathen parish of yours.
Hey, I like where I work.
Yeah. Well you always were a glutton for punishment.
Your sermon was funny.
I would've actually prepared something if I knew you were coming.
You were the best in seminary. You haven't lost it.
Pure bullshit artistry, John. My dad always said
that the Blarney Stone kissed me.
Don't say a word.
Let's walk.
High cholesterol. I have to lose 20 pounds.
I've been put on a diet of rabbit food and forced to exercise.
Smokes?
I'm down to a pack a week.
Why don't you just quit?
They're my little friends, John.
Do not take them away from a lone, celibate, poor priest.
You had me going till the poor part.
I, uh, I seek counsel, Ralph.
That's what I do.
It is a matter of reconciliation and you can't be specific.
Right.
You wanna help someone.
Yeah.
Who told you something in the confessional.
You're gonna keep me guessing or you gonna tell me what the hell's going on?
You're not taking matters into your own hands.
Not really. I have no idea how to find her, anyway.
Her?
It happened to be a her, yeah.
A her you know?
I don't think so.
You know, there was something familiar about her, though.
In serious trouble, I think. Life and death.
I know I'm obsessing, but...
You know, what am I if I don't try to help?
A professional. With boundaries!
Oh, yeah, that.
Come on. People lie in the confessional, John.
They wanna make it sound good.
I had a woman who confessed to me all of her confessional lies.
Said she'd been making it up for years.
Sort of a Catholic Munchhausen Syndrome.
Nah. This woman was telling the truth.
Sometimes you just know a thing.
I do not wanna hear that you were assigned to a parish in Kabul
for violating one of the only rules that does not need changing.
Well, God forbid, we bend a rule to save a life, Ralph.
I mean it John. Do not cross that line.
That's my counsel.
And when you do, just please be discreet.
Just tell me whether I'm damned to hell or not, Father. I'll leave you alone.
My mother, she didn't want me to become a priest.
She tells me that every time she sees me.
That bother you?
A little. Mm-hm.
What about your dad?
What-what about him?
He want you to become a priest?
No. No. I mean I, I never knew him.
You didn't?
No. He, he left my mom and me when I was three, four.
How come?
I don't know. He went out one night, never came back.
You angry about that?
No. Angry? Why would I be?
I don't know.
I never knew the guy, so.
Wasn't a factor in my life.
Persona non grata.
Okay.
No one's ever asked me that before.
Worried about her immortal soul.
I'll be god damned if I pass that on to my daughter.
I'm sorry about the language.
Maybe I am just a fag.
Have you considered that?
What?
That you might be gay?
I am.
It's okay.
I've said that to no one.
Well, then it was high time.
It's okay.
You okay?
I'm sorry.
Hey, don't be.
Just hearing you say that so matter-of-fact.
Well, it-it's nothing to be ashamed of.
You really believe that?
I do.
What do I tell Glennis? My parents?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Get used to it.
Walk around with it awhile.
Pray on it.
I can pray on being a fag?
It's who you are, right? Accept it about yourself.
Your loved ones will fall in line.
Yeah, or they won't.
Or they won't.
Can you come back?
Yeah, sure.
We should keep talking.
About your dad?
No, no. About, uh,
about anger.
It stays bottled up, starts to feed on itself.
That's true.
Know what a heavy bag is?
You kidding?
No.
Golden Gloves. Fourteen years.
Won City back in '89. Retired on top.
Huh!
Excuse me. Hi, sorry.
I'm looking for information, information on prostitutes.
Three general kinds of hookers, Father.
There's your street whores. Mostly addicted.
Almost all former offenders.
Short professional life span and short life span. Period.
This book was written by one who got out.
Actually readable.
Out-call hookers. Slightly different animal.
Many drug users who maybe haven't slid as far down the scale.
Generally nicer looking. Most out-calls are repped by a pimp,
who runs escort/massage ads,
gets a girl out of jail, pays some bills, et cetera.
How does a librarian know so much about prostitutes?
Why does a priest want to know?
Please, continue.
Needs a place like Vegas or L.A. to work.
This one can afford to eat well, stay in shape,
get those boobs done.
You can't afford this girl, Father.
If you were looking for a specific girl
but you didn't know anything about her...
You know nothing?
Well, um, I know a little. But most of it's protected by...
Sacramental Seal? Hm?
Right.
That doesn't help.
No. She wears a crucifix.
So do I.
She's an Aries.
Great. What's her major?
Her voice is unique. Um...
I don't know. I'd recognize it in a heartbeat.
Now it's my pleasure to turn things over to Father John,
who will lead our discussion as he does at the beginning of every month. Father?
I'm sorry, Rosemary. I forgot what today's topic is.
Oh. Faith Based Public Policy: Blessing or Curse.
Right. Right.
It's a curse.
Hi.
Hey!
We-we talked the other night. I was looking for my sister.
Oh, yeah. Find her?
I'm not really looking for her.
No?
I don't even have a sister.
I got five. One baby brother.
Boy was 12 first time he saw the inside of a bathroom.
I told you a lie.
What you need? Maybe Miriam can help.
I was, uh, I was hoping we could just, um, talk for a minute.
What? You some kinda Eye-Team reporter gonna put me on TV?
No, no.
They did that once, baby.
There I was, shaking my ass on the evening news.
My, um, whatchacallit, 15 minutes of fame.
I'm a, uh, Catholic priest.
Don't hear that everyday.
C'mon, Father, buy me a drink.
In a nice place.
She your girl or somethin'?
She's in trouble. Needs help.
St. Clair might know her.
Who?
James St. Clair. Big alpha pimp this year. Most of the girls with him.
Do you think he'd talk to me?
Might. Might kill you, too.
He's moody.
Holds court in Sundays on Harney.
Go in there and you ain't a brother, you best have backup.
Right.
I'll drink one more of these, Father.
Hi. Sorry. Can I have another one?
Do you remember? Vodka martini? Yeah. Thanks.
Twelve bucks.
Okay. This is for you.
Thank you.
You want a drink?
No.
I'm an outlaw.
What's that?
No pimp.
I'm too hard to beat up and I ain't gonna lay down for these motherfuckers.
When they realized they couldn't kill me, shit, they left me alone.
That's good.
And none of em' know shit about money.
I gotta plan for my future.
This line ain't got no 401 K, Father.
I never thought of that.
Let's go.
I've gotta go.
You do?
I've gotta go. Yes, sorry.
You've been very helpful, though. Thank you, Miriam.
Motherfucker really did just wanna talk.
Whoa.
Gimme your money!
Hey! Okay, man!
I'll cut your fucking dick off!
All right, all right. Here, just relax, okay?
Hey.
What's the other guy look like?
Um, he was ugly.
I have something for you.
What?
It's a license plate number.
That I can work with.
How we doing?
We're late.
All right, let's do this thing.
I was mugged.
A man hit me the other night.
He threatened me with a knife, he took my money, and gave me this shiner.
He scared me so bad I wet my pants.
I mention it because I know others have gone through it.
Assault. Battery. Domestic abuse.
When you're the victim, you don't wanna talk about it.
You know, why me?
I must be a bad person for that to happen.
And then it makes you angry.
What kind of a man can't defend himself walking down the street?
I don't like these feelings.
I tried to hide them yesterday because I'm still ashamed.
And I'm broke.
I can use the money.
And the confidence, I lost. And the dignity.
Me talking, you listening.
Thanks.
Now, let us say a prayer for the bastard who mugged me
because he needs it. Let us pray.
John Buerlein.
Buy an old girlfriend a drink?
Were you gonna call, you big jerk?
I was, um, conflicted.
Oh. Well, some things never change.
I'm divorcing Daniel.
What happened?
He had an affair.
Why'd he do that? He's nuts.
He's one of those men that hates women
but is biologically compelled to wanna fuck us.
Sorry. Sorry.
What about Christopher?
We're moving back here.
So I might see you around?
My mother told me that you opened a shelter
and single-handedly saved this parish from extinction.
Oh, don't be humble with me.
It's true. She's right.
Yeah?
You look good, Nadine.
Yes. I would like to speak to the Archbishop if I could.
Anita Mendoza.
It's personal, and a very difficult call to make.
It concerns the pastor in our parish.
Yes, I'll hold.
Hi.
It's me again.
Hi.
You know James St. Clair?
Who?
A big alpha pimp. A lot of girls are with him.
Never heard of him Who did you say you were?
Uh, John Buerlein. I'm a Catholic priest.
Oh. Sure. Nice to know you.
Likewise.
On the house.
Yeah?
Any friend of St. Clair's is a friend of mine.
Thought you didn't know him.
Hi. Excuse me. Can you, can you hear me?
No...
Oh, okay.
Um, hi.
I just, I wanted to, uh,
I'm trying to find someone, and I was wondering if you could...
No, you don't have to dance. I'm trying to, uh, find someone.
Can you, can you hear me?
www.frendz4m.com
You can't hear me, can you?
He'll pass out soon.
I'm Sharon.
Linda.
Thanks for letting us in.
You know, he's an Aries, ruled by Mars,
so he always gets a little bit nuts leading up to the full moon.
I'm Aries.
Where are my girls?
You here alone?
Uh, yep.
No family, or...?
Nope. I have a stepfather somewhere, but I haven't seen him for years.
I always wondered about you down here.
Sharon, where are you?
You know it's... All I ever wanted
just to be a part of a nice little family, you know.
Yeah.
Uh, could you hold her a sec?
Oh, I... - I gotta pee.
I'll be right back.
Hi.
Okay, ladies, don't rush. This is not a race.
We have, okay. We have a whole piece of music to fill up.
Let the audience drink you in!
You look like Rocky.
Oh, yeah? Marciano or Balboa?
I got a phone call about you.
You did?
Archbishop Fulton Aloysius Meehan.
Yep. Very cordial. Knows we're friends.
He called you about me?
Heard you were in an altercation.
What?
Late to mass a couple a times.
Swear words from the pulpit.
Wait! How the hell did he...
Other modes of behavior not befitting one of his pastors.
Visits to the red light district.
Yes. One of your faithful saw you coming out of Tits R Us,
and reported in.
Why didn't he call me?
And handle something directly?
Please. He has a reputation to uphold.
Okay! Men, yes, it's time for you to be at the altar.
Do not keep the ladies waiting.
Work with me, boys!
I told him that you were working with gangs,
and that you had signed the leader up for seminary.
You did not.
He thinks you're working on the streets with actual people.